Sunday, August 29, 2010

Cracking the Whip


I love women, I really do. I love a nice long girlfriend lunch over Cosmos followed by retail therapy at Macy's. Over the years my girlfriends have shared every one of life's milestones, good and bad, have been there to celebrate as well as mourn with me. One of them, my best friend Jersey, literally saved my life after my divorce. So, yes, I adore my women friends and can't imagine my life without them. However, I also need at least one good man friend. Men are so different as friends; they can be brutally honest, have a no-bullshit attitude and little tolerance for the drama we women so often feed upon. They don't get bent out of shape if they don't hear from you for a while, they are spontaneous and fun-loving, less judgmental and basically just don't give a shit about the silly things we women obsess over day & night. It's refreshing. I find myself able to reveal parts of myself to guy friends that I would never dare do so with women for fear of being judged, perhaps rightly so. Sometimes I don't want to be dissected, I don't want to talk things out til the wee hours of the morning. I just want to sit back with a (light) beer and relax! This is where My Men come in.

Usually these are guys who are otherwise committed so there's no chance of it turning romantic, or we simply aren't attracted to each other, or, they are ex-boyfriends who just make better friends than lovers!For example, I have recently run into any old flame from high school, at Italian cutie who was an absolute sweetheart, treated me like a princess..but the timing was wrong. As Franco says, I already belonged to someone else (uh, that would be Beren) heart & soul and he simply didn't have a chance. But now, from the "safety" of his happily-married life many miles away, we have been able to reconnect on a totally different level, and I am enjoying the hell out of it! While Franco is sensitive, warm & caring, bright & witty and fun, he is still a man..and that, my dears, brings a whole different element to the friendship!

Why am I telling you all this and what does it have to do with weight loss? Because in the sea of fabulous women bloggers who are so supportive of each other, who take that girl-talk into cyberspace, who allow me to bitch & rant & whine and sit right there next to me, nodding and holding my hand, there's another genre of bloggers popping up as well: The Men. Lately I've noticed a surge of male bloggers writing about their weight loss efforts, diligently recording their failures & successes in a way completely different than we women do, and they are fabulous! Honest and funny and often irreverent, these guys have me mesmerized with their words. I sit here howling with laughter, cheering them on, in awe of these big men who are brave enough to get down & dirty with us girls, revealing their struggles with their own body issues in a forum where they are indeed the minority. It's awesome!

Having said that, I've also noticed something different about the male bloggers: they bring that no-nonsense, brutally honest attitude into the blogosphere. While they are incredibly encouraging and supportive of their fellow weight watchin' friends, they also don't hesitate to give a good swift kick in the ass when necessary. Allan is a perfect example of this. He doesn't hesitate to use tough love when he thinks it's necessary and though I myself have been been a "victim" of his wrath, I probably deserve it and would take my punishment willingly. Some of my other favorite guys, Misunderstood and Admired?? Patrick, Mark & Jack, also provide a unique and fresh perspective and I look forward to their posts each day.

Lately I've been turning to my guys more so than my lady friends, in cyber-space as well as real life, because I think I need a big manly dose of reality. I have been screwing around with this weight for so long now and though my girlfriends aren't saying anything, I can feel the frustration coming from the man corner. I know they're dying to give me a big dose of macho advice, would love to tell me to quit my bitchin' and just do something already! Am I right, Allan? *wink*

So, today, even without the kick in the ass, I'm getting freaking serious. Really. No more excuses, no more dawdling. I know, I know, I've said it before and I wouldn't blame you for rolling your eyes and smirking. But I am serious, enough so that I'm going to ask the boys for a favor: If I start to falter, if I come here whining and making excuses, I want you to dole out some of that tough love, ok? Kick me in the ass, crack that whatever necessary to keep me on track. I can take it, I promise.

Have a Beauty-Full Day,


  1. I'm not one of the guys but I would be willing to do the same, if you can kick my butt into gear when I lean toward the same....

    I agree with you whole heartedly about the men. Some people have often asked why I am with my guys...its because he makes me laugh AND he keeps me in check with his manly doses of reality...

  2. Thank you, Jules! Yep, those are the things I love about Beren as well. xoxoxo

  3. Not only do you post awesome art but you put up a fabulous post giving a shout out to the blogger-men-folk, how cool are you!

    This post of yours is about commitment, a commitment you are making to yourself to achive the goal you have set for yourself.

    Honored to be here in your corner as you take on this commitment. No rolling eyes or smirking from me. A big ole smile I get when I sense a seriousness if not passion in a blogger. You ask & you shall receive... should you falter, whine, etc. I'll be here to help you get back in line with your commitment.

    Commitments start with aspiring for something, and then they need to quickly become actions required to get it. What actions do you have in mind to get this done?

  4. Thank you, Patrick. As much as the free-spirited passionate part of me rebels at the idea of planning and tracking every single morsel of food I put into my mouth, I realize that I must do just that. Otherwise I lose control, and my control freak side absolutely hates that! So, starting today I'm tracking. I need the accountability. I'll be posting my Sparkpeople nutrition tracker soon. Feel free to comment and critique, am open to suggestions!

    Oh, and another thing I love about you guys, you're so appreciative of the "art" I post! ;)

  5. Great post. I have plenty of male friends because I want to keep the balance. But sometimes it's hard to keep it on a friendship level... But it's still better to be friends than stop seeing each other altogether!

    PS. I feel sorry for Bettie Page now that I learned that her father abused her sexually. Horrible.

  6. I have to agree with you on a majority of these points! Men - yes - love the honesty, need a few as good friends, and I really love the rise of male bloggers.

    Female friends - yep.. good stuff.

    Excuses - you are absolutely right!

  7. Great post. You are so right about the men...especially Allan. They just cannot understand our whining. My husband and I were talking about it yesterday and he said, "Men spend 5% talking about personal things with their friends and 95% about sports, current events, etc., and woman are just the opposite." I still love being a woman though, but my male friends can sure bring me back to reality.

  8. Haha. Thanks for the mention :)

    You are absolutely right. The guys do take a no-nonsense approach. I see a lot of people on other blogs sugar coating what needs to be said, and as a result, nothing changes. I think the difference is the balance between logic and emotion.

    I hope you know what you're doing though? You've given me the green light. Challenge accepted :p

  9. Am I reading into this, or are you now available ? Let me check with my wife...Serious food plan, hmmm. Breakfast is shortly, let's make it through that and go forward...I have a whip and welll...

  10. You know me... I stay focused on the task at hand. We all have a shit load of stuff that can provide roadblocks to our weight loss goals but we have to stay stronger than that. It's so easy to convince ourselves that life is hard so we need to relax and not add more stress. That’s bullshit. Relaxing is what got us in this predicament in the first place. The opposite of relaxing is achieving goals!!! ONWARD!!! Thanks for having me as one of your "corner men". We all need a good "cut man" in our life to stop the bleeding and tell us to get off our ass and fight harder.

  11. Misunderstood, thank *you* for being one of my "cut men!"

    Allan, I'm asking for punishment, not pleasure! Although...hmm...

    Mark, I need help with that balance as my emotions tend to rule!

    Thanks, Nicole. Wish we lived closer, bet we'd be great friends!

    Helena, I'm not saying I never flirt just a little bit with my male friends. ;) So very sad about Bettie indeed.
    Just Me, I agree! I loooove being a woman, wouldn't trade with the men for anything!