Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Calling in Fat

I must be going to Waist


Dear Boss,

I regret to inform you that I am unable to come to work today. You see, I am suffering from a terrible affliction called Can't-Fit-Into-A-Damned-Thing-in-my-Closet. While I realize that this condition is not contagious, the terrible mood associated with it can be passed along quite easily and I would hate to spread that to the rest of the staff. Also, I am quite sure that you would not want me there wearing the one thing that does still fit me: my own skin. No, it would not be a good thing to sit at one's desk totally naked now, would it? I daresay it might frighten the clients!

Therefore, I feel it is in the best interests of all concerned if I spend some time alone at home, taking my misery out on the treadmill instead of yourself and my co-workers.

I know you'll understand. I'll see you in a couple of weeks when I am 5 pounds thinner and therefore able to squeeze my fat ass into something appropriate.

Yours Truly,

12 comments:

  1. GREAT!
    ***LOL***
    That made me laugh. For the first time today. Because my car broke. To repair it will cost something about 3000 Euros. I'm devastated.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If only this would work, hehehe! Thanks for the giggle. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. AHHH I totally wish I had this letter earlier and that it would actually work. I'm sure you'll find something fabulous. And do what I always do ...blame the salt!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've wanted to call in fat, too. Despite the size of my gut, I've never had the guts to do it. Brilliant post!

    ReplyDelete
  5. TOO FUNNY! Thanks for the chuckle! LOVE the photo by the way!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is explained so well that I think it might just work, where'd I put my cell phone...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you for all of the kind words! :) I only wish it would work! Knowing my boss, he'd tell me to show up naked, lol!

    ReplyDelete
  8. We're all assuming that this wouldn't work... has anyone tried it? Who knows, maybe the logic will be appreciated ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hilarious, thank you so much! I hope you don't mind I have printed this off to share with my girl friends, they are going to have the same laugh I did. Thanks again.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Health Questions, absolutely, feel free to share! I'd love to have some more visitors to my blog! :)

    ReplyDelete