Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Calling in Fat

I must be going to Waist


Dear Boss,

I regret to inform you that I am unable to come to work today. You see, I am suffering from a terrible affliction called Can't-Fit-Into-A-Damned-Thing-in-my-Closet. While I realize that this condition is not contagious, the terrible mood associated with it can be passed along quite easily and I would hate to spread that to the rest of the staff. Also, I am quite sure that you would not want me there wearing the one thing that does still fit me: my own skin. No, it would not be a good thing to sit at one's desk totally naked now, would it? I daresay it might frighten the clients!

Therefore, I feel it is in the best interests of all concerned if I spend some time alone at home, taking my misery out on the treadmill instead of yourself and my co-workers.

I know you'll understand. I'll see you in a couple of weeks when I am 5 pounds thinner and therefore able to squeeze my fat ass into something appropriate.

Yours Truly,

11 comments:

  1. GREAT!
    ***LOL***
    That made me laugh. For the first time today. Because my car broke. To repair it will cost something about 3000 Euros. I'm devastated.

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  2. If only this would work, hehehe! Thanks for the giggle. :)

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  3. AHHH I totally wish I had this letter earlier and that it would actually work. I'm sure you'll find something fabulous. And do what I always do ...blame the salt!

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  4. I've wanted to call in fat, too. Despite the size of my gut, I've never had the guts to do it. Brilliant post!

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  5. TOO FUNNY! Thanks for the chuckle! LOVE the photo by the way!!

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  6. This is explained so well that I think it might just work, where'd I put my cell phone...

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  7. Thank you for all of the kind words! :) I only wish it would work! Knowing my boss, he'd tell me to show up naked, lol!

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  8. We're all assuming that this wouldn't work... has anyone tried it? Who knows, maybe the logic will be appreciated ;)

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  9. Hilarious, thank you so much! I hope you don't mind I have printed this off to share with my girl friends, they are going to have the same laugh I did. Thanks again.

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  10. Health Questions, absolutely, feel free to share! I'd love to have some more visitors to my blog! :)

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