Monday, March 29, 2010

I've Got the Blues

Sorry, friends, this is not going to be my usual perky post. I'm just miserable this morning, despite a pretty good weekend. I'm frustrated, overwhelmed and disgusted with myself. There are too many mirrors in this house and they are not forgiving. I go to bed hating my body, hoping & wishing that somehowI could wake up thin. I wake up depressed that the miracle didn't happen. I hate the way I look right now yet sick & tired of thinking of diet & exercise 24/7. Spring is here, bathing suit season right around the corner, and I loathe the thought of splaying my fat butt across the beach.

The worst part is, I really have no one to talk to about this. My Man is one of those who can (and does) eat & drink whatever he wants without gaining. Most of my friends are in good, or at least decent, shape and the ones who aren't don't want to hear me whining. So, here I am, venting at you all. Thanks for "listening." I'm gonna go find something productive to do..maybe tearing down all the mirrors in the house and cutting out all the label in my clothing?


  1. Days like these are hard. Just relax and not think about dieting and everything that means today and just enjoy the day.

  2. Yep, Craig is the same - 6'1" and averages around 185 lbs of slim muscley build... The absolute git! lol He eats LOADS (getting together with him was what helped pack on so many pounds for me - I matched what he ate!) The difference being, he has a very active job.

    I understand the way you're feeling and soon you'll just get the "f*ck it" mood and get right back on track. :o)

  3. I hate those days -- the days where you just want to hack pieces of your flesh off!
    We've all had our fair share of those kinds of days. No need to apologize; that's what we're all here for -- to support each other in the good times & the bad!
    I say put on your favorite music, crank it up, and dance it out (and curse and scream if you want!) If it were possible to give someone some mojo, I'd give you some of mine, but alas, it's up to ourselves in the end.


  4. You always have us, your curvy blogging friends to talk to! They're all right, we've all had those days and it is hard to pick up and get motivated again but you -can- do it! I hate swimsuit season too. I feel like I've reached some kind of deadline and failed. Luckily for us, there will always be a springtime. Weight loss is a long term goal and if you haven't reached your goals by this spring, you have a whole year until next spring. Today, find something that you love about yourself, even if its something small like you have pretty toes. Go out and pick up some bubble bath, some new nail polish and love yourself. Do like glam said and put on some good music, bask in the sunshine for a few minutes and have yourself a big delicious, crisp salad for dinner. When I gain weight, I go through my kitchen and yell and throw away all of the bad, unhealthy foods and replace them with good ones. Get lots of healthy snacks like sweet fat free pudding or salty fiber one crackers. After you feel better, you can try to set small goals for youself like "I will loose at least 5 pounds this month." The best weight loss tool for me is my food journal. You can track everything you eat so you avoid random trips to the kitchen for snacks. Are you on any particular diet right now? I started weight watchers 5 days ago and have lost 3 pounds so far. If you haven't tried it, I highly recommend it. If its done right, you will never go hungry, never feel deprived of the foods you love and you will still loose pounds! Good luck, darlin' You can do it!!
    p.s. this is my favorite recipe website, everything is healthy and amazingly delish!

  5. The Kittehs know all the words to the song your singin! We know how tired you are, we are too. We know how you feel, we d=feel that way too! If you do find that miracle, will you share it with us? Plz!

  6. You look beautiful in all your photos, no matter what your weight is. Hope you feel less 'blue' tomorrow X

  7. Hope this finds you feeling more like your vivacious self!

  8. Hey, M ~

    "Most of my friends are in good, or at least decent, shape and the ones who aren't don't want to hear me whining" - I fall into the latter category... and you can whine to me anytime (actually, let's whine... and wine... to each other... :-)

    I am free Thursday and Friday... or any day next week - let me know... <3

  9. Oh dear, you are so hard on yourself. But I know where you are coming from. I don't get how some people can eat whatever the heck they like and the scale stays the same. Then there is us--who can't so much as look at chocolate less we gain 5 lbs. Hang in there dear.

    We are our worst enemy at times. We have to hold on to those things that we're doing for ourselves. The changes that we're making to our diet and exercise. If we look for the good, we will find it just like the bad.

    You are beatiful. Please remember that--

  10. Men have it so easy, huh? Try not to beat yourself up about the reflection in the mirror. No matter what your weight you are BEAUTIFUL! Try to do something good for yourself today. Go for a walk, get a pedicure, soak in a bubble bath or whatever will put a smile on your face. Sometimes we need to change our attitude to change our waistline.

  11. You're not the only one who hates herself at the moment. If only I could sleep and take care of myself. But all my energy goes to children and housekeeping. I feel I've aged ten years in four. It's horrible.

    My grandma who looked stunning when she married turned into a pumpkin after having children. I think it's partly in the genes. Scary... My husband doesn't gain weight either. He's slim as a bean stalk and eating candy all the time and drinking beer.

    But I won't give up! I'll start running and I'll stop bloody eating if I have to. I don't want to spend the rest of my life as a pumpkin. It affects my mood, my health, my whole life.

    Happy Easter anyway! Don't eat too many chocolate eggs. :-D

  12. Thanks to all of you for your kind words, encouragement and support. I wish I could say I was on the other side of the blues but I'm just starting to crawl my way out of it. xoxoox

  13. Stopping in from Lady Bloggers Tea Party.

    Sorry to hear you feel like this..maybe it is in the air...I do too. Thanks for being so honest about it...I think so many women can relate. My hubby basically started eating vegetables and did nothing else and lost 40+ pounds in 3 months...I hate him (not really) and I continue to struggle. It stinks.

    504 Main

  14. I enjoy your blog so much and I think you take excellent care of yourself and those around you. You always look beautiful and feminine and vivacious, even though I know you don't always feel that way. I understand where you're coming from, though. The anxiety and the anger... but those nasty emotions are not your friends.

    We are!

    Hugs to you! And give Loki a kiss for me.

  15. Thank you so much, Jan! You are such a sweetie. xoxox

  16. Holly, thank you so much for stopping by, and for the kind words! xoxoxo