Cowgirl (er...cow hugger?)

In addition to the other lifestyle changes I'm making this year (regular exercise, getting serious about my eating plan), I've decided to go back to my mostly-vegetarian diet. For about 10 years I eschewed all meat except for seafood, could never seem to give up shrimp & lobster, but 6 years ago I started eating chicken again, then beef, and before you knew it I was a full-blown carnivore. I've never felt good about it, though, really prefer to not eat anything with a face. I'm such a huge animal lover that when I actually think about what I'm putting into my mouth it makes me sick, both in my stomach and my heart. This is a personal decision, please don't think I'll be getting up on my soap box trying to convince anyone to join me in my cow-hugging ways! After all, I am still living with a man who considers bacon one of the major groups and would curl up and die without his weekly Bubba Burger! Nor am I going vegan, as much as I admire those who can it would be too difficult for me at this point in my life.

So, starting this week I'm cutting out the meat. No more chicken, beef, pork, etc., and I'm going to limit the amount of seafood as well. I really don't think it'll be a hardship, it's so much easier to be a vegetarian than it was 20 years ago! Back then there was no Boca or Morningstar products, we veggies had to live on tofu, beans and grains. Not all vegetarians are healthy, by the way; after all, there's no meat in bread, cookies, cakes, etc! I definitely overdid the pasta back in the day and with my no white stuff guideline I'm going to have to be really careful in that area.

If anyone has some tasty, healthy vegetarian recipes, please feel free to share! I'll be posting some of my own, starting with this one from Weight Watchers:



Mexican-Style Brown Rice Casserole

POINTS® Value: 6
Servings: 6
Preparation Time: 12 min
Cooking Time: 30 min
Level of Difficulty: Easy

Like a burrito in a bowl, this dish is great for parties. Serve a big salad on the side.

Ingredients
1 spray(s) cooking spray
4 cup(s) cooked brown rice
1 1/4 cup(s) salsa
1 tsp ground cumin
15 oz canned refried beans
10 oz frozen corn kernels, thawed
4 oz canned green chili peppers, mild, diced
1 Tbsp chili powder
10 oz chopped frozen spinach, or collard greens, thawed and set to drain in a strainer over a bowl
3/4 cup(s) low-fat shredded cheddar cheese, divided
2 Tbsp cilantro, fresh, chopped (optional; for garnish)
Instructions

* Preheat oven to 375ºF. Coat a 2-quart rectangular, round or oval baking dish with cooking spray

* In a large bowl, combine rice, salsa and cumin. Spoon 2 cups of rice mixture into prepared baking dish and spread out to evenly cover bottom of dish.

* In another large bowl, combine refried beans, corn, chili peppers and chili power. Using a rubber spatula, scrape bean mixture on top of rice layer and smooth out top.

* Squeeze out any excess water from spinach or collard greens and then spread on top of bean layer; sprinkle with 6 tablespoons of cheese. Top with remaining rice mixture and smooth out top; sprinkle with remaining cheese.

* Place casserole on a large rimmed baking sheet to catch any spillage. Bake until heated through and cheese is browned and bubbling, about 30 minutes. Sprinkle with cilantro (if desired), cut into 6 pieces and serve.

Notes: * Leftover brown rice works well in this dish. Or save time by picking some up at your local Chinese restaurant.

Let's All Go to the Movies

Today presents a new challenge for me, we are taking Beren's girls to the theater to see Avatar. Yeah, yeah, I know, I am one of the last people on the planet to see it. Well, you see, for as much as I love movies I rarely go to see them on the big screen. We prefer to spend our money elsewhere and just wait for Netflix or cable to deliver us our flicks. But this time it's an exception since everyone is raving about this thing and I understand I'm going to be totally blow away by it. So, ok, we're going to a matinee in a couple of hours, kids in tow.

Now, we all know that part of the fun of going to the movies is hitting the concession stand beforehand and filling up on all the sweet & salty goodies. Danger, Will Robinson, Danger! I could easily dive straight into a bucket of popcorn and spend 2 and a half hours (really, it's that long?) grazing. Do you know how many calories/POINTS are in movie theater popcorn? According to Hungry Girl, a small bag will cost you 11 POINTS! What? I don't think so! Now, even though the movie theater will frown on it, I'm sneaking in my own mini-bag. Sorry, folks, but I'm paying enough in dollars to attend your establishment, I'm not going to "pay" with a weight gain, too!



As if the temptations weren't enough, following the film we are heading out for pizza. UGH! Ok, since I know that planning is the key, I looked up the restaurant's menu in advance and found a nice salad that I can enjoy guilt-free. Along with a glass of wine, I should be fulfilled and not deprived.



Wish me luck, am hoping this fantasy matinee doesn't turn into a horror fest!

Wednesday Weigh-In

I'm switching my weigh-in to Wednesdays, seems to work better for me not to do it at the end of the week (allows too much freedom for the weekend)or at the beginning (not enough freedom). So, today I hopped on the scale and found that even with my slight indescretions I lost 1 pound this week! Not a helluva lot but I'll sure take it!

I think increasing my work hours has really helped me, keeping me out of the house during those dangerous afternoon snack fests.

Hope everyone else is having a great week, happy hump day!

A Sweet Award

Thanks so much to Orange & Black Kittehs for honoring me with this lovely award! You kitts are just the sweetest!



The award is called "HAPPY 101", the instructions that come along with this award:

1. Copy the image and display it on your blog.
2.List 10 things thatmake you happy.
3. Try to do at least one of them today.
4. Pass on the award to 10 bloggers who brighten your day.

Hmmmmm, Ten things that make me happy....

1. Family, the *most* important thing to me
2. Reading
3. Crafting/Art
4. Thrift shopping/treasure hunting
5. seeing the numbers on the scale go down!
6. Cooking
7. Spending time with my Sweetie
8. Reading LOL Cats! (they crack me up and always brighten my day!)
9. watching movies and my favorite tv shows
10. a clean, organized house. I can't function in chaos!

Now to pass it on to 10 Bloggers that brighten our day:

1. *Bitch Cakes*
2. Jack Sh*t
3. Paulawannacracker
4. Ramblings in the Circle of Nine
5. Complacencies of the Peignoir
6. The Totally Girlie Blog
7. Chronicles of Meps'
8. Big Girl Bombshell
9. When I Grow Up I'm Going to be a Pin-Up Girl
10. Mais Fica

http://www.mylivesignature.com/mls_wizard2_1.php?sid=54487-218-6B8859B60A9EF45C882628AEF65C889F

P.S. I know that some of the bloggers I've chosen might have already received this award but that's ok, consider yourself doubly gifted! *smile*

Staying Focused

Emery Clarke
Originally uploaded by ondiraiduveau

January 21, 2010
Staying Focused
Leo Daily Horoscope

Scattered thoughts and feelings could leave you distracted today. While your head may be firmly fixed in the clouds as you dream wondrous dreams, your body could be attending to mundane chores. As a result, you may feel torn between what you must do and that what you would rather be doing. You may feel unfocused and undirected, especially if you are neglecting your life’s goals in the pursuit of matters related to survival and obligation. You may be able to compose your thoughts and clear your mind by concentrating on the tasks before you, even as you daydream and plan for the future. What you muse upon today has value because it can become the foundation for your future.

Keeping one part of your attention always fixated on your goals can help you retain your feelings of progress even when life’s mundane matters demand your attention. The feeling that our goals and dreams have little worth or that we are incapable of fulfilling them is often sharpest when we are forced to devote ourselves to people and situation unrelated to what we wish to accomplish. Allowing yourself to think and plan about what you are striving for—even when you are too busy to do anything physically tangible—gives you a means to be productive so that you are always working toward what you want. A small amount of thought can keep your goals fresh in your mind and help you stay focused. When you allow yourself to think about the future today, you won’t feel that your efforts have been wasted.

This really hits home with me today as I'm seriously overwhelmed with work & home obligations as well as some other "stuff" that is distracting me from my own personal goals. It's hard to stay focused and take care of oneself when pulled in so many different directions, when the road ahead appears to be full of roadblocks and detours set up by others.

I'm working on it, though, staying mostly on program as far as my diet but need to work in some exercise. I know I'll feel better emotionally and physically if I work off some of this stress on the treadmill and if I set up some boundaries, reminding myself and those around me that I am important, too, that I need some support on this new journey of mine.

I'm a Cheater

Beacon Darcy
Originally uploaded by ondiraiduveau

I've been all over the map with my eating plans lately, bouncing back & forth between South Beach & Weight Watchers, haven't been faithful to either and have instead been "cheating" on both. Obviously this hasn't worked for me, I need to commit to one or the other and devote myself..or do I? Maybe there's a way to have both? Hmm...

After much soul searching and commiserating with the "professionals" I've decided to go back to WW online. It's been good to me, keeping me on the straight & narrow with the journaling and suppport, and I think it's the healthiest choice for me. However, I'm also going to dabble with South Beach now & then, eschewing all "white foods" and most processed garbage. This gives me the freedom of being able to have a sandwich or a hamburger bun as long as they are made of whole wheat, not the nutrition-empty alternative.

I've been doing this for the past few days and though I don't see any change on the scale yet, I feel better and that counts for a helluva lot.


Tonight I'm making an easy dinner, started preparing it last night and put it in the slowcooker this morning before work. I haven't figured the POINTS but based on other WW black bean recipes I'm figuring it's about 2 POINTS without the rice.

Slow Cooker Black Beans

1 pound dry black beans
1 can Ro-Tel tomatoes (I use the one w/green chiles)
1 teaspoon or so of miced garlic
1 small onion, diced
1 green bell pepper, diced

Quick-boil the black beans as directed on the package, drain. Place all ingredients in slowcooker with enough water to cover. Turn on low, cook all day. Serve over rice (brown is best) if desired.

Enjoy!

What I Didn't Tell You...

about my corset experience the other day was the embarrassment and horror of being measured by the pirate dude, in front of Beren. Yeah, I know the man sees me naked all the time but that doesn't mean he knows my measurements or, god forbid, my weight! I keep that stuff from him, choosing instead to share it here on the internet. *rolling eyes* I'm not sure what that says about our relationship. Honestly, yes I do. It says that I was badly hurt in the past from my romantic partner and I don't want it to happen again.

You see, my ex-husband was a firefighter, and all that that entails. If you know any firefighters, you'll understand but if not let me fill you in. Many (most) of them are ego-driven macho men who like beautiful "arm pieces," blond hair optional but hot bodies mandatory. When he met and married me I was 22 years old, 108 pounds, a nervous wreck on the heels of a nasty divorce, living on eggs & pasta, just trying to support myself and my toddler. Yeah, I looked good, quite a pretty package and fit nicely into his "image" of the perfect wife.



Fast forward a dozen years and two more babies and I wasn't quite as "perfect." I'd gained weight due to emotional eating, trying to keep him happy and deal with his issues while running a business, a family and keeping our home in Martha Stewart style. I provided a clean house, brilliant & beautiful children, a smart business partner, friendship, conversation, daily warm meals and, last but not least, hot sex any time he wanted it. But, alas, that wasn't good enough for him. He wasn't happy. Not with our home, not with his job, not with our business, etc. etc. etc. When he ran out of things to complain about he turned on me. With a vengeance.



At 150 pounds, I was too fat for him. Not good enough. I needed to lose weight. Fat wasn't attractive. The criticisms went on and on and on. Finally one morning, after treating him to a fabulous 40th birthday trip to Key West where he doted on me and expressed his undying love and desire for me, it came to a head. Over Sunday morning coffee he turned to me and asked, "did you ever think about having a tummy tuck? Because I think it might be a good idea." I lost it. I felt betrayed. Crushed. Something snapped in me and I'm afraid I didn't take the high road. I got up, in his face and through my teeth I said, "Did you ever think about having a penile implant? Because, frankly, your dick is just not big enough for me."




After that, something shifted in me. I started dieting. Seriously. And exercising. Often. Little by little over the next year or so I detached from him. Stopped letting his opinion of me have so much impact or importance. And, as you might have suspected, the thinner I got, the more confidence I gained, the more interested he became. Oh, you like me now, do you? Now that I've lost 25 pounds and other men are after me like white on rice? How nice for you! But guess what, baby? You are no longer attractive to me! The marriage was over. We got divorced in 2004, I went on to reconnect with Beren and the rest, as they say, is history.



Now, though, here I am again, at an even higher wait and, frankly, scared shitless. Beren has never said a word about my weight, loves me inside & out, devours me every chance he gets. Yet, let's face it, I'm not the girl he hooked up with nearly 6 years ago. I've changed. I've aged. I'm fat.
I guess I feel like if he knows my weight he'll suddenly realize just how fat I am and..what? Leave me? No, I don't think he'd do that, he's not that shallow. But I do think that he'd like me better thinner, who wouldn't? I mean, I like myself better at a smaller size, why shouldn't he? But he shouldn't be, and won't be, the reason for me to get thinner/healthier. It's not for him or any man, it's got to be for me. Right?


P.S. About a year after our divorce T re-married. To a blond bombshell. In the county courthouse. Without telling his children. Our amicable relationship deteriorated because she was insanely jealous of me. One year later they had a huge fight, over me, and separated but she still stalks him, slanders him to his family, friends & colleagues and to this day, 2 years after they separated, he is still not free of her.

Unmentionables

So, yesterday Beren and I took a little trip to St. Augustine for the express purpose of purchasing a new corset. For me, not Beren; yeah, he's a huge fan of Rocky Horror but not sure he could carry the look as well as Dr. Frankenfurter...



But, anyway, I digress...so we went to see our pirate friend, Tiger Lee, to actually exchange the corset I purchased last month. It seems that Tiger's wenches are not quite as adept at measuring because, as suspected, my corset was a full 4" too large! No worries, though, Tiger had me properly fitted and tightlaced within minutes, leaving me gasping for air yet feeling ever-so-special with my new hourglass figure! Sorry, I should have taken pictures but was too caught up in the moment and focused on simply breathing/walking/sitting/drinking through the streets of St. Augustine while being ogled by the tourists who had apparently never seen a woman wearing blue jeans & a corset! Here's a pic of my very corset from Tiger's website, though; you can just imagine my face on this wench's body. *wink*



Now, I've written briefly about corsets before but as time goes by I am thinking more & more seriously about getting a "real" one to be worn on a regular basis. I've done the research and know what I want, all I need now is to save up the money for a trip to Canada to be personally fitted at Lace Embrace. *swoon*



In the meantime, as I recently discussed with Ms. Bitchcakes, I am "practicing" by wearing some modern-day shapewear which really makes a difference in how clothes look and feel on me. My dresses fit more nicely, no lumps & bumps, and I just feel more "finished" and put-together. You know, women back in the 50's wore this stuff all the time and as much as I appreciate the feminist movement for some things, I also think we've lost some of our "ladylike" attributes and I'm sad for that.



Here in South Florida we are so casual, women don't even wear pantyhose anymore, ever, much less a slip or, according to my friends, even matching underwear/bras! It's a shame but I don't have to give in to the masses, I can wear whatever makes me feel pretty & feminine and that includes slips, stockings & garters, oh, my!

Inked

Just a random post today, want to share with you my daughter's latest venture. As you may know, Kali graduated from college last May with her Bachelors Degree in Art History. In addition to being an Elementary and Middle School Art Teacher, she also works for a local children's museum *and* is now apprenticing to be a tattoo artist!
She's a busy gal, I know!

Let me first state that I am not a big fan of tattoos, at least not on my body, and cringe every time she or her sisters get yet another one, but I do admire them for the art factor and am amazed at the talented tatt artists out there. Apparently, Kali is now one of them. *smile* (Yeah, this flyer shows her real name...shh...don't tell anyone..wink..)



Here's a pic of her own latest tattoos, a pin-up for each shoulder honoring each of her sisters.



And, lastly, here's a link to the tattoo shop blog, just in case you ever want to come visit the Sunshine State and leave with your own bit of ink!



P.S. In case you're wondering, no, I do not have any ink myself and no plans to do so. But, never say never, right?

New Years Goals 2010

New Years Goals 2010, originally uploaded by Rapunzel*.

I'm not making "resolutions" this year but I am setting goals for myself. To avoid the drudgery of such goal-making, I decided to depict them with my favorite pin-ups. *wink* Enjoy!

Have a Beauty-Full Day,

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to all of my blogging friends!
Here's wishing that 2010 is a fabulous year filled with peace, joy & magickal moments!

New Years Eve
Originally uploaded by Rapunzel*

Brightest New Year Blessings,