Time for Change

Those of you who read my other blog know that Beren and I are out of town for an extended period of time. While Beren spends most of the weekdays, and some weekends, working, I putter around the house, shop, do crafts, read, basically whatever the heck I want to do. It's really lovely, having all of this time to myself. But having so many hours in the day to spend on just me, I have absolutely no excuse for not taking care of myself, for not exercising, for not cooking and eating properly, for not staying on my eating plan. I've decided to take this opportunity and use it for some serious self-improvement, some extreme self-care. I've been taking my vitamins, applying my moisturizers, deep conditioning my hair, expanding my mind while exploring the city...all wonderful, positive things. But I have not been exercising enough, or eating even 50% On Program. So it should be no surprise to me that my jeans are a little bit tighter, that I'm not as happy with what I see in the mirror, or in photos...



So today I got up and logged on to Weight Watchers, found a local center and attended a meeting. I bought the Monthly Pass, a program which is not available down south. Weigh-in wasn't pleasant but it wasn't a complete shock either: 166.4. I have gained back 10 of the 20 pounds I lost last year. Rather than beat myself up over it, though, I took a deep breath, smiled and re-committed to this weight loss journey.



Interestingly enough, today's meeting topic was about time management. And, coincidentally, most of the other attendees (older retired folks) are in the same boat as myself; they have plenty of time to take care of themselves. No children or jobs to use as reasons/excuses. Our leader Barbara talked to us about that, asking what, other than lack of time, prevents us from doing what we know we have to do to achieve success. For me it's a combination of laziness and a little bit of anxiety that leads to overeating. Being up here, while a luxury, is also taking me away from some of the things I love at home: my kids, my cats, my house, my friends. Even, though I can't say I really miss it, my job. I'm sorting through these emotions, coming to terms with the touch of homesickness, learning to detach from my grown daughters just a bit in order to create healthier (less dependent) relationships. Now I just need to add the next component: finding other ways to deal with the emotions other than stuffing them down with food. Smarter choices would be:

* Taking Loki for a neighborhood walk
* Taking myself for a long stroll on the beach
* Exploring, by foot, the museums and local attractions nearby
* Visiting the health food store and farmers market for fresh fruit & veggies
* Distracting myself and/or talking myself through the anxious, sad times
* Sharing my feelings with Beren and asking for his support, and not in the form of a fried mozzarella stick *grin*

Do you all have any other suggestions? Thoughts?

I'm going to read through my WW pamphlets as if I'm a new member, starting fresh for the first time, then plan a new recipe for dinner. I'm looking forward to hearing from you all..

Have a Beauty-Full Day,